We’ve heard the stories and we’ve seen the pictures.  The Dubai skyline is massive, and it popped up nearly overnight.  Of course, we’ve also seen the most recent update: Dubai is totally broke.  While that doesn’t mean a whole lot for the 500,000 Emirati who are actually citizens, the other 5.5 million Indian, Pakistani and Bangladeshi immigrants most definitely feel the crunch.  While the superficial Dubai is all glitz and glamour – the world’s tallest building, the world’s biggest hotel, the world’s largest indoor ski slope, an entire island development made to look like the World, every western chain from Applebee’s to TGI Friday’s – the underbelly of the city is built entirely on the backs of foreigners.

Beyond the tall buildings that line Sheik Zayed Road, nothing really passes two or three stories.  While the gargantuan air-conditioned shopping malls are deserted, the street markets are bustling.  The market for kid’s goods is huge, as five million of the 5.5 million immigrants are men with families back at home.  They go home every 14 to 18 months for 2 or 3 weeks (this after working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week non-stop for those 14 to 18 months) and when they go, they bring piles of goodies home to their families.

While the history of Dubai is fascinating – it’s growth from a tiny nothing town in the middle of a sandy desert to one of the World’s largest transport and shipment hubs – the real story lies deep in its current situation.  There may be no place better than this city to see “both sides” of the world as we know it.  There may be no place where developed and developing clash in such an open and honest way.  Indeed, there may be no place like Dubai, period.

–

Kyle Taylor

If you like sophomoric, raunchy humor, then you are nutty enough to think PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS is a stroke of genius.  The show features two gratuitously naked, good looking twinks tugging on everything from their twigs to their taints for a full 50 minutes.  It sounds like it could be erotic and if your mind goes there it might be, but for the most part it is just the opposite.  It is a casual, laidback theatrical experience; drizzled with doses of audience participation (I know, scary huh?) and you can actually pull out your cell phones and cameras and snap pictures.  That in itself is hard to resist.

Rich Binning and Christopher J. Cannon are currently starring in the national tour now playing at the Coast Playhouse at 8325 Santa Monica Blvd. in West Hollywood through March 28^th.

If you are a fan of the male physique, you won’t be disappointed.  While twisting their penises into everything you never imagined, the cocksure duo show every inch of their well-toned bodies.  Some of my favorite shapes they create are the hemorrhoid, the sea anemone, the mollusk and spot-on imitations of KFC’s extra crispy chicken breast and an original recipe drumstick.  Bring your own coleslaw and you could have a picnic…or not.

In his senior year in high school Chris saw the show, bought the “How To” book sold in the lobby and realized he had the perfect uncircumcised penis for doing the tricks.  Chris and Rich, who is circumcised, met in college and started dropping their drawers together at parties showing how they could perform the sometimes shocking tricks of genital origami (Guys who are uncut can stretch out a few more positions with their skin that those who are cut can not do). And no, the parties they went to in college were not gay orgies.  In fact, the two actors aren’t even gay. They were drunken parties filled with theatre majors who obviously checked their inhibitions at the door. When they heard about the open call for the Puppetry auditions, the two friends tried out as a team and were given the roles.  Both say they can’t imagine performing in the two-man show with anyone else and feel unbelievably fortunate to tour the world together, getting naked for millions of strangers. How does this compare with your job?

Next up after West Hollywood is Scandinavia – not a bad gig. The two exhibitionists also recently performed in Canada where the guys say audiences couldn’t get enough.  The weather was a little rough though because they encountered shrinkage and to combat their mutual cases of the shrivels, heated blow dryers prior to show time became handy fluffers.

One of Rich’s tricks is calling someone up from the audience and doing a hand stand into upside-down splits with the victim in the middle of his legs. Not only does everyone get more penis than they can imagine, they get scads of scrotum, butt cheeks and even a little pink pucker which is at the center of everyone’s universe.  The performers love the gays too.  In fact, when the original cast members did this move and the male volunteer was in the middle of the spread eagle hand stand, he didn’t get nervous and giggle like everyone else.  This balsy participant went in for a lick, straight up the middle.  Performers and volunteers doing their best to make their parents proud – I love it.

Speaking of parents, Rich and Chris’ families have seen the shows and there has never been a sense of shyness there.  When I asked about their most embarrassing moments, Chris said he had just used the loo in a past performance and ran back on stage spouting a few droplets.  Rich, on the night I was in the audience, also had to use the facilities and when the video camera did a close up on his pee-pee hole, the excessive moisture let everyone in the crowd know someone needed a bathroom break.  Talk about a juicy performance! And yes, if you want a more sizeable view, the center of the stage features a huge video screen.

These professional penis puppeteers are also professional man-scapers.  They prefer not to wax but do plenty of shaping and shaving.  Chris says the Remington 3000 Electric Shaver is the best! Rich and Chris admit this job is a dream come true that never feels like working.  Fifty minutes of playing with their bits and pieces every night can’t be beat.

For more information on the tour and to find out about auditions visit www.puppetryofthepenis.com.  Purchase tickets ($39 – $45 – Wednesdays thru Sundays) by calling 866-468-3399. Show and ticket information can be found at www.ticketweb.com. Tickets are available at The Coast Playhouse box office on performance nights, one hour prior to the performance.

In summary, no they don’t ever get erections (but you might), no it doesn’t hurt, yes you will squirm a bit and yes all their parts still work.  So come on down to We Ho, bring your cameras and have a ball (or two) with PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS now through March 28th!

–  Charlie